I can’t sleep.
It’s strange to not have any kind of emotional pull towards someone. I’m not in a relationship, not seeing anyone, not talking to anyone - I’m a hundred and ten percent solitary, and I like it. I like the feeling of being self reliant. I like being able to put my own interests and emotions first. I like not having any kind of attachment to anybody. I don’t feel lonely in the slightest, instead I feel free, liberated even. While my self esteem’s taken a fairly huge battering recently, I’ve finally realised that I don’t need someone’s attention to feel validated. I’m good enough on my own, and things will fall into place when the time is right. I’m slowly regaining the headspace I was in at the beginning of 2011, when I was happy to be by myself and totally self sufficient, something I’ve been working towards for months. As for now, I can plan and do things that make me happy and I don’t have to worry about what effect it might have on anyone else, I love it.